The Silverware Tray

First published January 31, 2010

Our kitchen in Khartoum.

This morning, Emileigh and Aria were invited to go to Nile Valley Academy to be teachers' aides today. They readily agreed as I suspect that they knew another day of organizing and scrubbing the house were to take place...AND they love kids. That left John and I to wander about town with my list of household goods that I am in need of...

We thought we'd find everything we needed at a place called Afra, but alas I was wrong. I did find 2 things on my list and some beautiful bottles of Diet Coke so the trip overall was a success. One of the things on my list was a plastic silverware holder. I didn't think that would be too hard to find and sure enough, I found one complete with an EXPAND-O-TRAY. I don't know why you'd need the tray to expand, but I always have the option. It also included little plastic trays to fit on top in case you had any additional items to stack. Too sweet.

I put all the items up on the conveyor belt and the lady rang them up. The bottle of Diet Coke 1 pound. Not bad. .50 cents in US currency. Then she rang up the silverware tray (insert drumroll and major eyerolling by all of my international compatriots) at 35 Sudanese pounds or $17 US!!! Yes, folks. I, Pam M., just paid $17 for a plastic thing to hold my non-silver silverware. Sigh.

"Well," I told John, "at least it's the DELUXE model."

I got home and started flinging utensils into the compartments. I had already talked myself out of the "I-can't-believe-I-paid-so-much-for-this-and-why-didn't-I-wait-and-ask-for-help-or-put-it-back" dialogue which could easily play out in my head. Instead I was humming and sorting. After I finished I opened up the drawer and put the tray in. It wouldn't fit. The width was fine but the drawer was too short or the tray was too long. Either way it wasn't going in. I removed all the EXPAND-O features and the extra trays, but still no-go. 

I stared long and hard at the drawer and willed the tray to fit, but still nothing. Unbelievable. I looked around the kitchen to see what other options I could possibly have. Not many. I took the two little trays that were to be extra storage and crammed them in the drawer. They fit, but not too easily. I put the utensils in them and stared and my beautiful, amazing silverware tray that is now completely worthless.

Oh, well. Emileigh will be thrilled with a new organizational item for her room. I'm sure in no time she'll have made that $17 purchase worthwhile. Until then, I still have about 9 items to go to finish out my list. I hope John can afford it.

New

First published January 2010

Our dear friends...

Another dear friend...

Today we pack and I mean PACK. We've been waiting for a few days now to begin all of the major sorting and stuffing because we use everything that we brought...therefore, we can't pack it too early. Makes for a very weird, last-minute scenario.

I'm looking at the empty totes in front of me and I think, "Here we go again." New place. New people. New stores. New customs. New expectations. Sigh. Honestly, it makes me overwhelmed to think about starting over...and slightly frightened.

I have just spent the last 12 months clawing and scraping my way into a form of routine...trying to carve out some sense of normalcy...and now I'm trading it for an airline ticket 2.5 hours south and a world away to Sudan.

What was I thinking?! This kind of life is for brave people, strong people, curious people. I don't feel as though I'm any of those things. I feel dependent, weak and quite able to keep questions to myself. So I find myself in a quandry. Do I go and "fake it til I make it"? or Do I throw the towel in and say I've had a good run?

The easier answer would be the latter, but easier is not always better. "Better" sometimes comes in difficult circumstances, trying times and simply trusting for what's ahead.

I just read in Romans, "If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it--you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long your worked--well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift."

It reminds me that I not only entrust my soul to God, but also those things that encompass my everyday life...no matter how difficult it may seem. "Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own."

So if I trust God with my eternity, I should trust Him with my today knowing that I am "entering into what He is doing for me." In other words, I shouldn't pick and choose what I think I'm capable of doing and then ask for help on the remaining tasks, but rather understand that He is involved in every detail and even more comforting to know that He is there in every circumstance. 

Let's get packing...